Everyone's definition of argument in marriage varies. You ideally should speak to a marriage counseling specialist about your relationship to see whether the disagreement between you and your partner is a sustainable aspect of your relationship or an indication of a developing issue.
While most dislike fighting or arguing with their partners because it can be exhausting, there are some advantages to having disagreements in a relationship.
5 reasons why arguments are part and parcel of married couples
- Helps you communicate your needs clearly to your partner
- A dispute between partners is usually because they have an unfulfilled need.
- Fighting allows your spouse to understand your needs.
- Helps learn new things about your partner
- Many times, following a disagreement, you may discover something new about your spouse that you were not aware of before the dispute.
- Helps relationship progress
- While it is quite simple to dismiss an argument, debates may help grow.
- It enables you to look at problems logically and solve them.
- Helps you feel better
- Most can communicate the profound issues that have been hurting them via disputes.
- This does make you feel less burdened and more liberated.
- Helps create more intimacy in the relationship
- Fights may help develop closeness in a relationship by allowing you and your spouse to get to know each other on a deeper level, creating much-needed intimacy in marriage.
Arguments and conflicts are inevitable in every relationship. The way you handle disputes and conflicts may make or ruin a relationship.
What is the key to a happy marriage?
Communication is the key to a happy relationship. Though you may see this as sitting comfortably on the sofa and discussing your troubles or concerns with your spouse, this is rarely the case. People have terrible days and awful reactions to words and situations, so disagreements are unavoidable.
Couples who dispute are, in essence, communicating, which is the foundation of every healthy relationship. It may not appear to be the most ideal method of communication, but expressing your ideas and opinions is far preferable to keeping them to yourselves and letting them stew, leading to complicated relationships.
9 most common reasons that cause arguments among married couples
- Financial issue
- Intimacy and expectations concerning romance
- Lack of communication
- Not spending time with each other
- Issues regarding household chores
- Past unresolved issues
- Jealousy
- Difficulty understanding emotions
- Family and friends
- Not having time for each other
QUESTION
See Answer6 ways to improve your relationship during a disagreement
- Instead of complaining, make requests during arguments. Nagging or criticizing your partner is not a good way of communication. Complaining will just make things worse. Make requests instead.
- Put yourself in the shoes of your spouse. Try to see things from your partner's point of view to have a better understanding of the problem. Try to figure out where they are coming from.
- Allow them to talk, and actively listen to them. Many do not offer their partners the opportunity to converse. Everyone wants to be heard, yet people refuse to listen. Allow them to talk and hear their point of view.
- Take a break if the debate begins to devolve into a squabble. Allow each other time to calm off. You can talk about it later when you are both cool and composed.
- If necessary, apologize to your spouse. If you are at fault, do not be afraid to apologize to your spouse. Accept responsibility for what you did wrong.
- Maintain your composure. Try to remain cool during the dispute. Do not get defensive.
An unhappy marriage is more than simply a stumbling block, but it does not indicate that your marriage is doomed. It may take some soul-searching and difficult questions to choose if you want to work on the marriage or whether it is time to walk away.
However, if you and your partner decide that your relationship is worth it, you have cleared a major hurdle and your marriage may be even stronger once you both argued on certain issues.
Lore D. Fight Fairly and Keep the Peace in Your Relationship. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/how-to-stop-fighting-tips-for-married-couples
Schwartz A. Couples and Quarrelling. Mentalhelp.net. https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/couples-and-quarrelling/
Firestone L. Why You Pick Fights with Your Partner… and How to Stop. PsychAlive. https://www.psychalive.org/relationship-fights/
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